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Saturday, January 16, 2010

01.16.10

01.16.10-0719

I am glad that my girls are peacefully sleeping in their beds! This afternoon has been a trying one. Lucy didn't nap today, which she does maybe once a week. Normally, she really is okay on the days that she doesn't nap, but she is ready for bed by 7 or 7:30. Today she decided she didn't need to nap. Everything was great until about 3:30 when she just completely fell apart. She was purposefully doing things to be mean to Annie and wouldn't do anything that I asked her to - like apologize to Annie for shoving her down. She and I struggled through the rest of the afternoon until she just completely melted down. I let her do her thing for a while and while it was happening, I could feel myself getting more and more frustrated with her. I really am trying to work on understanding what the girls must be feeling given the fact that they are 1 and 3, and not forcing upon them what I want them to feel. So, after a few minutes, I just picked her up and hugged on her. Within seconds, she was calmed down and decided to eat everything on her plate for dinner. What I wanted to do was get mad at her. I was mad at her. She chose not to nap. She chose to repeatedly not listen and be mean. But I stopped everything and said a quick prayer.

Please Lord, give me patience and understanding. Please don't let me lash out in anger because she is just a baby. She is tired and I don't want to make things worse, so please guide me to be a better parent to her.

I said this in the laundry room where I could at least have her out of my sight. I stood in there for about 30 seconds and just breathed in and out. Then I went out and picked her up and hugged on her. I didn't say a word to her until she calmed down, which happened quickly. Once she was calm, I could deal with her in a loving manner instead of out of anger.

I wish I could always do this. It is so easy to get so frustrated with our kids when they are acting totally unreasonable. Even after she calmed down and ate her dinner, I was still a little rattled because she had just pushed me to my limits. But taking a moment to myself and relying on God, truly did help me more than I can ever explain.

I was happy to bathe the girls and put them to bed. It has been nice to have a little time to myself to recover from a crazy afternoon. I think that if I would turn to God more often in my parenting decisions, life would be quite a bit simpler. That is another goal of mine for 2010. I need to turn to God for everything. Big or small. Every time I do, things get better. Every time I relinquish control to God, life is more enjoyable and the stress goes down. Why is it so hard to always give up control to Him? Why do I feel the need to try and push Him to the side and think that I can be in control and do things better? I promise, every time I surrender control, He handles things better than me.

Note to self: Stop being a control freak. He has you and your family wrapped up in His hands. He can help you with everything.

I almost didn't blog tonight. I just didn't feel like it. But I am glad that I did.

01.16.10-0716

Why are my babies so beautiful?
01.16.10-0717

01.16.10-0720

01.16.10-0724

25 comments:

Mom said...

OK, this one made me tear up, because I have been trying to work on the same things. I want to be in control of everything, and in reality, I'm in control of pretty much nothing! Good for you. Good for you in taking a moment to be with God and let him calm you down, making you a wonderful momma. I have talked with him quite a bit today. Lonnie's mom has been very ill--again, and two friends are now dealing with breast cancer. I am counting on keeping their names in his presence, so He will probably want to send some healing and peace just to shut me up. I'm hoping!

Another problem--your card is now really going to be late because Monday is a holiday. I will call and sing really loudly tomorrow, tho.

Breathe in, breathe out, and let the spirit fill you up! Yes, you are blessed with having beautiful girls. Holly's are blessed with having beautiful boys. Papa and I are just blessed to have you all.

Love and kisses, LeeLee

Jena said...

I pray a LOT as a momma... a LOT. :) and God meets me.

Mom said...

PS--good job on all the pig tails today. Love 'em! Lee

Shawna said...

Kel, you're a great example of what to do as a parent. Thanks for sharing with us...it helps me better understand for when it's my turn. I need to join you on giving up control...it's a tough thing to do, but once you do you always feel that weight lifted off your shoulders.

Erin said...

great post tonight! we had a very similar day it sounds like...except i just stayed frustrated instead of stepping back and looking at the bigger picture like you!!

cute piggies too! really precious.

mimi lam said...

Day like this will come and goes, I am glad that you let your faith in God taken over, and the crisis 's calm down, it is so easy to let the frustration and anger to take control of oursselves sometimes, sweet picture of Annie with Bianca, and Lucy looked so sweet.

Marina said...

Kelly, I'm so glad you did blog today. I also have a three year old and he is testing my patience today. I didn't handle the morning well, but after reading your blog while he naps (it's already Sunday afternoon in Australia), hopefully I can handle the afternoon better, Thank you!
PS. gosh Annie looks grown up in these pictures!

Beth said...

Thank you for this great reminder to turn all things over to Him. We all need to stop and take a breath now and then, and realize that they really are just babies, that hugs can do SO much, and that He can always help us.

Tara said...

Thank you so much for this post tonight! I really needed this because I have been feeling this way lately and I hate it. My husband recently got transfered and I am here at home with our 3 kids (ages 7,4,3) for 2 weeks at a time until our house sells. The weeks get so long and I find that my patience is just gone most nights by bedtime. I have been doing a lot more yelling than I would like to do and it just makes the situation worse. I think next time I am losing my cool I will pray instead of yell. Usually my prayers are coming after the kids are in bed and I am feeling like a failure. I need to learn to pray in the moment. Thanks for the post! BTW...I am doing my own 365 project this year. I figured it would be a great way for my husband to see what is going on with our kids while he is gone. I really enjoyed yours last year!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you posted today too because it was very inspiring. And as always the pictures of Lucy and Annie are adorable!!!

Margaret from TN

marissa said...

oh I love the expression you caught in that first picture. As an auntie I am totally impressed by you mamas who do it all day, hang in there

Norah said...

Kelly this happened to me a couple of nights ago. Linhsey just lost it at dinner and I put her on her bed to cry and flip out. It went on and on and finally I realized that she could not control it. I went in there and picked her up and within minutes she was sound asleep on my chest like she used to do as a baby. I let her sleep on me for a while before I put her in bed. I was thankful for that moment with her because I could not remember the last time that she did sleep on my chest like that. It helped me release my anger and remember something good.

Anonymous said...

Kelly-Thank you so much for your post. You are right-and we have all been there with our kids. My Annie is a little toughy-and she can push me to my limit.
Today is my day to teach Sunday School at church and I often joke that teaching a class of 4 year old kids is my way of taking a break from Annie.
I think God made her (and all kids) so cute to help us keep our temper in the most trying of moments.
God Bless You
YSIC
Jennifer in Indy

Sara said...

Kelly, I so totally and completely get you and this post and agree with handing things over to God. it's sometimes hard to do in the moment so appreciate that you had the ability and sense to take a minute and center yourself. Its a good reminder to all of us! You are a good mama.

LeighAnn said...

Thank you for the realness that you shared tonight. I think that it's good for all of us to see that we aren't alone when we have crazy days. I have really been trying to work on my reaction to my children. I am the only one responsible for how I react to their actions. The best thing that I can do is stop, take a break, breathe, and PRAY and ask God to help me and give me the proper reaction...one that I won't feel so guilty for later on, one that will show my children love even thru discipline. It's a work in progress but the outcome is SO much better. You are doing a great job as a momma.

Veronica said...

Today I am thankful to God for you Kelly
- that you share so selflessly
- that you inspire so wholeheartedly
- that you give others perpective in so many ways you may not even know yourself
Your beautiful girls are blessed to have such a beautiful mamma.
Thanks for inspiring me, by your honesty and your gifts. :)

Nicki said...

I am a huge huge fan of hugs as a cure for the common tantrum. I swear my last two kids have never had tantrums because I got so good at hugging it out! It is good for them, so good for me and what a better parenting method to use than love, right? So glad you are feeling spiritually full, too!

The Hines Family said...

Thank you for posting this--it was really encouraging! :-)

MKH said...

absolutely wonderful. such a great post and truly heartfelt.

jacqueline said...

this is why we love you kelly...because you are so real with us. we can all relate to you in one way or another. i know i have had my moments. i have realized too...that turning to God really makes a difference.

Anonymous said...

Please Lord, give me patience and understanding. Please don't let me lash out in anger because she is just a baby. She is tired and I don't want to make things worse, so please guide me to be a better parent to her.

Thank you for this reminder of how precious our babies are, and how to let go and God. All of our kids need to come with this instructional prayer!

Amy K said...

Thank you for this post. I check your blog every day and am inspired by you. I have four young boys and I was touched by your post. We all feel frustrated at times - I know I do at some point in almost every day. I strive to put God in control, but so often fail to do so. Tomorrow if (when) I feel frustrated I hope I remember this post and act as you did. Thanks:)

Kelli said...

Thanks for this inspiring post- I needed it!

Paul and Heather said...

WOW...I have been working on the same thing. I am such a control freak, and I need to let it go when my 18 month old acts well...like an 18 month old. I need to take a deep breathe and just let some things go. I am so envious of the Mom's who can just do this and have infinite patience with their kids. I am so not like that. I was doing really well for a few weeks and last night was NOT good about it. Thanks for the reminder to take a deep breathe and let it go :-)

metaphase said...

I'm catching up on my blog reading so this is late but I wanted to say thanks for your honesty. We have days like the one you described. I don't have a control problem, but sometimes I do forget that God is there to help me through the small things too.