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Monday, December 14, 2009

348/365

Annie 348/365

Lucy 348/365

Today I am thankful for Annie's big ole tummy. Lucy has always had this skinny minnie flat tummy. Not our Annie. She has a chunker belly and it makes me so happy. My favorite thing in the whole world is when we ask her where her belly button is when she is standing up. If she is standing and she bends over to find it, she can't because it gets lost in a little roll. Oh my goodness, it is so cute. She gets so concerned about where it went. I could ask her to show it to me 100 times a day.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my post yesterday. I loved reading the different perspectives and thoughts. I have a few more things that I want to say really quickly. I am not concerned that we would love a bio or an adopted child any more or less. I think most people understood that, but I just wanted to make sure I was making sense. I am concerned about resentment that could possibly arise as Lucy or Annie started wanting to look more into their past and the minimal information that we have to give them. I do have some adult adoptee friends, even a few from blended families. The conclusion that I seem to come to every time, is that every single person who has gone through an adoption, will process it differently. I have talked to a few adult adoptees that have no interest whatsoever in knowing about their past or first mother. Others are desperate for information. So, who knows how Lucy or Annie will process all that they have been through. We will obviously find out one day, but we are quite a ways from that point.

I really appreciate Jena and Laura's comments because I can really relate to them. You both had truly wonderful points and I appreciate you taking the time to write them out. I completely and totally can understand what you were both saying. Thanks for your input, and everyone else's as well because it was helpful to me. Kristin, I also appreciate your insight about being pregnant and the inappropriate comments that would come along with it in front of your adopted daughter. This is another HUGE fear of mine. When it was just Lucy, she attracted so much attention everywhere we went. When Annie was added to the mix, even more attention was drawn to us. We don't go anywhere without someone talking about the girls. As anyone with internationally adopted children knows, the inappropriate comments are plentiful. The most common one now that makes me CRAZY is "Are the girls 'real' sisters?" I am generally tolerant of people because I know that they are not trying to be hurtful, but it kills me when people ask this. I just say yes and move right along. No other explanation is needed because they are "real" sisters. So, we already get lots of comments that are out of line, and I can only imagine how often people would comment about our fertility when I was big, pregnant, and waddling around with Lucy and Annie. It kills me to even think about because Lucy is sharp as a tack. She would be all over wanting to know more about what these strangers are talking about. As I am sure all parents do, I have this intense desire to protect the girls from anything that may cause them pain, and I think that these comments would be painful to them.

I feel certain that whatever is supposed to happen for our family, will happen. God has a plan, and we plan to follow it.

I almost forgot Annie's picture tonight. I had already laid her down. I had just walked out when I remembered, so I went right back in, she was SO excited I was back and I love these two pictures of her.


10 comments:

Kate said...

wow! am i first??!!! leelee??!!!
iam supposed to be studying right now but who wants to do that anyways...
ANYWHO! i have a very smart mama friend..who i have NO WORRIES about in the land of adoption and getting pregnant and how the kiddos process it all..NONE, NADA...i have ALL the faith in your parenting and lovin...to make it right...but i know that mama worries and thinks and thats probably what makes her a smarty pants... you are a good, smart mama my friend.
leelee...she would whine though wouldn't she???? i can hear it noooowww.

thurmans said...

How did you get to the point that you can just put Annie in her room and leave and she can fall asleep on her own? I NEED to know. I have struggled so much with sleeping issues with Elizabeth and we have truly made HUGE strides over this year, but I would love to be able to put her in bed, kiss her good night, and she would be ok with this.

jacqueline said...

such precious pictures...and such a heartfelt post.

Seashy said...

Goose needs CHRISTMAS pjs Kel, CHRISTMAS.

I hope God's plan for your family includes lots and lots more kiddos :)

It just kind of hit me today, when I saw December 14 on your blog, that this year long event is about to end :( SO sad!

Mom said...

OK, now I'm going to have to write my whole comment over, because as you know, I lose my internet connection here in the bedroom very easily! ugh

Have not been snoozing, been wrapping presents, and almost have that project whipped out! hooray!

Gotta love Kate's comment, and I ditto her entire post!

Seashy, your present from Amy came to the house today. Do you want me to send it on or hang on to it? It's postmarked Wednesday, but I guess the Christmas rush is on!

Is getting really cold again. Santa wants some snow for his sleigh. Sure do miss all my fam! Love and kisses to all, LeeLee

Mom said...

I personally think a good pair of skeleton pajamas is good for any holiday! Lee

metaphase said...

Hey, I didn't comment yesterday b/c though I do have a bio and an adopted child, they're so young I didn't feel I could provide you with any insightful information. I did enjoy getting to read everyone else's take.
I just wanted to say that I hardly ever get comments from anyone about my kids being "real" bro/sister or whose adopted and who is "natural" or "real". I think it may be b/c my daughter looks less like me than Binh! Ha! Anyway, I just wanted to say that I don't want you to think you'd be plagued by that all the time. I must have a way about me that doesn't invite comments, though I don't think I'm mean looking!:) because I've never had a lot of adoption comments. It may be b/c Binh's a boy and I think people comment to you about little girls more. Anyway, I've rambled long enough and probably shouldn't have commented today, either! :)

Jennifer in Miami said...

Hi Kelly,

I just wanted to thank you for your amazing blog. I love waking up and checking it. I needed to thank you because your blog was one of the reasons that my husband and I decided to adopt from Vietnam. I am happy to say that we brought Addison home this February. She is 18 months and amazing!!! Merry Christmas and I hope that you continue regularly posting in 2010

Ronja from Germany said...

I really liked your last post and that you shared your thoughts about adoption / pregnancy. I know you will make the right choices in adding to your family, and I can not understand how people ever feel it would be okay to comment on such things as adoption, especially in front of children. That is so obviously something private that I would never even think about asking, unless I have a connection to the parents. I think you handle those questions in a good way, and that you will raise your girls perfectly so they will know how to handle inappropiate comments themselves later on.

Oh, and I have a suggestion for your end-of-the-year-posts: I would love it if you would choose your very favourite picture of each girl from each month and put them all in one post, it must be great to see the girls "grow up" month by months.

And I do hope you'll carry on with regular posting next year!!

Kristi said...

I didn't see yesterday's post but wouldn't mind chiming in today. Like you and Justin, we decided to adopt first. We had been planning to adopt again almost immediately after, but found out I was pregnant four months before we got Maria. (We didn't think I was infertile, but Teresa wasn't planned.) The girls are now 34 months and 15 months old.
So far, I can honestly say that I don't love them the same. I look at Maria and remember the very long wait and all of the longing I had for her. She was truly my heart's desire. Teresa on the other hand was such a surprise that my heart didn't have those years of longing. But, Teresa has the best personality and I really do love that she looks so much like my husband. I'm sure though that you love Lucy and Annie "differently" too.
I didn't love the pregnancy, and didn't love the birthing process but I did love the adoption process. My husband and I just can't imagine not adopting again although we don't know when.
I sometimes wonder about Teresa and how she will think about all of this. Will she feel like the odd one out? Would she feel any less loved because we don't want to have another bio kid?
One nice thing is that we are friends with a family who have one bio kid(born at the same hospital as our bio), and two adopted. Their bio sometimes feels left out at adoption related events. (And sometimes I think that's okay too.)
The cute thing is that the girls will group themselves into the Vietnam girls and the Boulder girls when our families gather.
PS- My girls fighting is so real that I'm quite sure they are "real" sisters.