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Helping make guacamole for dinner. Such a little helper!


Pictures without the fingers in her mouth are hard to come by these days.


Today I give thanks for Vietnam. It is such a wonderful country where the people are kind and land is full of history and culture. Both of our adoption trips were made so much better by the welcoming people of Vietnam. I can't imagine life without my two girls, and without Vietnam, I would not have them.

In case you didn't notice, I am doing a new format for my posts. I am obviously still tweaking this to my liking, but I plan on posting my favorite picture of each girl or a together picture first and what I am thankful for that day right below. That way, if you don't want to read my ramblings of not much interesting information about our day, you can see the pics and be done. I end up taking so many pictures each day and have been posting a bunch of them, but in my flickr account I add my favorites to my 365 folder so I will know which one to use when this project is done.

Today marks the two month mark since Annie's G&R. It has been an exhausting, exciting, loving, difficult, and humbling 2 months. I felt pretty good about my momma abilities until we got to Vietnam and Annie joined our family. Those were the most difficult two weeks of my entire life. I felt like I had no idea what I was doing or how to be a mom to her. I felt so helpless and inadequate the entire time we were in Vietnam. Annie was so sad and in such bad shape. When I go back and look at pictures of her from Vietnam, she now looks almost nothing like that child. You can see the sadness, fear, and anxiety in her little eyes. She didn't know how to deal with being held or fed when she needed or wanted it. She didn't want put down, but wasn't sure she wanted us holding her. She felt like crap and was really very sick. She couldn't pick up a toy and showed zero interest in touching or exploring anything. She was so tense, all of the time. Her little hands were never out of being in a fist. They were clinched so tightly all of the time. She had never put weight on her legs and had no idea how to do that. Her legs and arms were so tight that I could barely get her dressed because she would not bend at all. Her skin was covered in scars and bumps. She had such little hair. I remember saying to Justin on the ride back from our orphanage visit how calm and serene she was during our entire visit. Justin said several times that he thought that she was sick. I tried to convince myself that that was just her personality, calm, but I knew after our visit that there was a good chance that things were going to be very difficult. I kept blocking that out and thinking good thoughts. I just wanted our G&R to hurry up and get here so she could be with us and get the care she needed. Justin and I both picked up on the lack or attention that she got compared to the other babies. And we both picked up on her being extremely developmentally delayed for a 7.5 month old. She seemed like a little infant to both of us. And in every way once we got her, she was like a teeny tiny baby. A very mad, sad, and inconsolable infant.

Most of you know the rest of the story. We got home, got her the proper medical attention that she needed, and she basically instantly turned into a different child. She gained 2 lbs and grew over an inch. She went from crying around the clock to smiling around the clock. At almost 10 months old, she LOVES to be held and is learning that we will always be there for her. She plays with toys all day long - handing them back and forth from hand to hand. She is still clumsy with this, but gets better all of the time. She loves to stand on her legs. They are getting some muscle tone to them. She goes wild every time one of our dogs walks by - she really adores animals. She does not arch away from us anymore. She is still learning to laugh, but has started doing this big shriek when she is trying to laugh. We love it and are dying to hear a big belly laugh. She does the shriek every time she sees Lucy. All I have to do is peek at her and she lights up. Justin can still make her smile every time he looks at her. She has grown much more cautious of strangers, which is such a good thing. Before very long ago, she would gladly go to anyone and everyone. That is not the case now. She is still a very friendly child, but in a much more guarded way. Her big issue as we all know, is sleeping. She is still waking up multiple times a night and during nap. She just isn't quite comfortable when she is sleeping yet. A big part of it is teeth, but I just think that she still struggles at night.

I thank God for both of my girls every night as I give Annie her final bottle of the day. They are the true loves of our lives. It has been a really hard 2 months, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.