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Monday, September 25, 2006

This is OUR Week

Unless our agency is trying some sort of new torture technique on us, we should get our referral this week. WE WILL SEE OUR LUCY!!!!!!!!!!!! This is somewhat unreal to me. The anticipation is killing me. I just live out the moment in my head over and over and over again of what it is going to feel like to see her for the first time. My agency called me on Friday - when I saw it on caller ID I freaked out. I couldn't answer because I was on a work phone call. Then the agency called my office - still couldn't talk because I was still on that darn work call. By this point, I am shaking and my heart is racing and I know that they are going to say - WE HAVE LUCY!!! I talked to our agency a few minutes later - I was pacing out in the hallway. They said that we should get Lucy next week. At this point, I have been let down in so many ways and so many times, that I am just not going to believe anything until I have the picture and the medical records in my possession. Our agency seemed quite confident in the fact that we should get our referral this week! PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!

Before and after I talked to our agency, I went straight into panic mode. I mean serious panic mode. At one point I thought I was going to throw up. All I could think of was how unprepared I felt all of the sudden. I am the kind of person who has wanted children for as long as I can remember. I would have had kids the second we got married, but am now glad that we waited a couple of years. The point is, I am so close to my dream and I totally freaked out. I think this might be normal, based on what others have told me, but I honestly could not believe how panicked I felt all of the sudden. We need SO MUCH stuff and it all depends on the size of our baby. We have her nursery set up and we have a closet FULL of clothes, but they are all size 12-18 months. Nothing smaller since we didn't know how big or small she would be. We don't have any of the baby things that people usually have. WHAT DO WE NEED?? I need some help. Any suggestions on what you think we DO NOT need would be great. I don't want to buy anything unnecessary. Here is the great news, my sister has a 1 year old and we can use most of his baby stuff - bouncy seat, swing, exersaucer, etc. The thing is, I don't even know if she will be small enough to ever use this stuff. On top of clothes and baby gear, we need all of the medicines that they suggest to take to Vietnam, and let me tell you, it is a lot! I just feel like we have so much to buy.

So, I feel unprepared from a "stuff" standpoint, but also a little unprepared from a parenting standpoint. I have been reading book after book about raising an adopted child, transnational adoption, transracial families, attachment, etc. It is not like I am going into this blind, but obviously every situation and child are different. Is Lucy going to have a hard time with attachment? Is she going to totally freak out when she leaves the orphanage? Is she going to resent us for taking her from her native country? Are we going to teach her enough about her culture? There is so much racing through my head that I think it my blow up!!!! I expect her to have trouble in some way with all of my thoughts and concerns. It is only natural. My concern is, am I going to be able to adequately help her with her feelings and problems? All of this is made worse by the continuing bizarre and scary adoption dreams I keep having. The latest dream was that I had literally no idea what to do with our baby - not even hold her. Justin had to save her because I kept almost dropping her. Now if that isn't scary, I don't know what is.

In a final thought, my birthday is this Friday. I kind of hope that we get Lucy on that day - can you imagine?? What a birthday gift. Also, one of my very best friends in the world is due to have her baby on Friday. If she hasn't had her by Thursday, they are going to induce. I would LOVE for us to see our baby girls on the same day for the first time. It would be so special. So, lets guess which day Lucy will be here and her birthday. I am going to guess Friday and that her birthday is June 23 (that is my mom's birthday). Please play this game to entertain me while the minutes tick away............

25 comments:

-Jenny said...

Thursday....referral.

B-day....5/17

will be stalking your blog for news!

liz said...

Thursday referal. Birthday June 18th.

Don't worry about all the stuff - between John's hand me downs and the fabulous shower we are going to have for you, you won't need a thing.

And give me a break about not knowing what to do with her - you are going to be the best mom in the whole world - it's something that you were meant for. I've never seen anyone who is as gifted with children as you.

c h e l said...

People told us not to get a swing, but even though grace is closing in on a year, it has been our lifesaver. She'll sit in it for 20 minutes a few times a day, and we can get stuff done!

Baby Einstein/Baby whatever videos were NOT a hit with us- I thinka baby needs to grow up on them. So if Lucy is older than 6+ months, I'd skip them.

Other stuff if Lucy is 6+ months- no rattles or soft toys that only crinkle- they were too boring for Grace when she got here. She loves toys that light up, come apart, play music, etc. and are more interactive.

The exersaucer is a huge hit- the walker is not. Skip the walker. Instead of a playpen (which will be too small if Lucy is over 6 months), get a play gate, which you can configure anywhere you need to. Everyone told me this, but I never listened. Now we have a playpen that barely got any use and a play yard that is used and configured daily.

jeneflower said...

I have to say Friday because that is your birthday and it is also our wedding anniversary. So that makes it extra special.

I will guess birthday is in April.

The suspense is too much!

Christina/Mrs. Broccoli Guy said...

I'm so excited for you!
Okay, I think your referral will come tomorrow (Tuesday) and the baby's birth date will be July 28th.

Don't worry about the panicking - it's totally normal, and you can always go shopping after you get home too! :-)

Rob W (Shelly's Hubby) said...

Thursday for the referral
B-day: 7/4

Shelly W said...

Hey Kelly,

My guess is that you will hear Wednesday and that her birthday will be April 4....or May 3.

Sorry I couldn't decide!

2nd Time Around, Vietnam Adoption said...

referral...Friday (I am praying hard)
birthdate...July 10

Your goung to make a great mother.

Stephanie(OHIO)

2nd Time Around, Vietnam Adoption said...

referral...Friday (I am praying hard)
birthdate...July 10

Your going to make a great mother!

Stephanie(OHIO)

susan said...

I'm *so* excited for you! I'll be looking forward to your good news this week!

I'd give you suggestions on what to purchase but I'm afraid we're in the same shoes. ;o)

Terra said...

Take a deep breath for starters. You will have plenty of time to get what you need while you wait for G&R. I think you will get a referral on Wed. and birthdate will be May 1st. Good luck and keep us posted. Terra- who finally gets to go to Vietnam in 7 days.

Emily said...

Oh my gosh....I can't believe it!
Sooo soon!

mommy magallanes said...

My guesses are referral: this Wednesday.

Bday: February 13.

You'll be a great mommy. I think parenting is one of those things where you have to just pray and then jump right in. It really is the best feeling in the world, loving a child. I can't wait for your good news this week!

Sara said...

I am feeling that her birthday is June 19 because my Lucy Elise was born on January 19...so the next possible month ending in "J" is June and the 19th because it is the same day. I feel like your Lucy Elise and mine have a real connection!!

When my Lucy was due, I kept wondering about the date and making little bets with myself, much as you are now. And then boom, 5 hours of labor and I saw her -- all of sudden she was real. It will be the same way with you, minus the labor pains! Lucky you!! :)

When I freaked out about not being ready before my Lucy came, a mom of two young girls told me that all you need is a bassinet and some diapers. It is so true! Of course your Lucy will be too big for a bassinet, but you get the idea. I met a lot of women while I was pregnant and we kept reminding ourselves that Babies R Us would still be open after our babies arrived, so we didn't need to buy EVERYTHING in advance! And each time my Lucy moves "up" to a bigger size in clothes, I just buy her whatever she needs pretty easily at Gap, Old Navy, etc. The point is, you can get what you need as you go along so don't worry too much now! And how great that you can borrow things from your sister -- that is wonderful because you never know what Lucy will like (saucer, door jumper, etc.)

As for attachment parenting -- I carried my Lucy in a sling a lot when she was very little, but she got quite intolerant of it after she was all of 6 weeks old -- she did not like lying there in a cradled position. But now I have this GREAT thing called a Moby Wrap which allows the baby a lot more arm and leg movement than a sling, but still feels very "close" to the mother -- much more so than a Bjorn and also much more comfortable than a Bjorn. Check it out: http://www.mobywrap.com

I'd love to hear from you and if you send me an e-mail again, please leave me your e-mail address so that I can write back! All the best from me and my Lucy Elise. We think of you often and cannot wait to hear the good news.

Sara said...

I am feeling that her birthday is June 19 because my Lucy Elise was born on January 19...so the next possible month ending in "J" is June and the 19th because it is the same day. I feel like your Lucy Elise and mine have a real connection!!

When my Lucy was due, I kept wondering about the date and making little bets with myself, much as you are now. And then boom, 5 hours of labor and I saw her -- all of sudden she was real. It will be the same way with you, minus the labor pains! Lucky you!! :)

When I freaked out about not being ready before my Lucy came, a mom of two young girls told me that all you need is a bassinet and some diapers. It is so true! Of course your Lucy will be too big for a bassinet, but you get the idea. I met a lot of women while I was pregnant and we kept reminding ourselves that Babies R Us would still be open after our babies arrived, so we didn't need to buy EVERYTHING in advance! And each time my Lucy moves "up" to a bigger size in clothes, I just buy her whatever she needs pretty easily at Gap, Old Navy, etc. The point is, you can get what you need as you go along so don't worry too much now! And how great that you can borrow things from your sister -- that is wonderful because you never know what Lucy will like (saucer, door jumper, etc.)

As for attachment parenting -- I carried my Lucy in a sling a lot when she was very little, but she got quite intolerant of it after she was all of 6 weeks old -- she did not like lying there in a cradled position. But now I have this GREAT thing called a Moby Wrap which allows the baby a lot more arm and leg movement than a sling, but still feels very "close" to the mother -- much more so than a Bjorn and also much more comfortable than a Bjorn. Check it out: http://www.mobywrap.com

I'd love to hear from you and if you send me an e-mail again, please leave me your e-mail address so that I can write back! All the best from me and my Lucy Elise. We think of you often and cannot wait to hear the good news.

Sherri Puckett said...

Okay- I think you may be right about the birthday or she might have been a 4th of July baby. The referral is tomorrow. Definitely tomorrow. I cannot wait!!!

mom23 said...

B-day 6/10
Referral- Wedenesday

Here's the thing about stuff and shopping. You will buy stuff now that you don't need, and you will come home from Vitenam going, "WE NEED TO Go TO BABIES-R-US immediately and get this_________!"

So enjoy the shopping and dreaming and anticipation.....if you can.
I'm praying.
Jena

jenn said...

If you think about it, the fact that you are concerned about all of these very real issues shows that you will indeed be a loving mother, sensitive to your child's unique needs. I hope you are able to get something done this week, as I know I would be a basket case!

jenn said...

Forgot to add:

Referral-Tuesday morning

Birthday-August 4th

Kelly said...

WOW! how exciting! Hmm.....well, I am an optimist and think it would be perfect if the referral came on your birthday...so I vote Friday (although sooner would definitely ease your anxiety!). Can't wait to hear the good news! And I am so happy for you!

Brenda said...

I think you'll get her referral tomorrow, Tuesday. And her birthday will be July 29th (my daughters b-day).

I loved the "wipe warmer" my high-maintenance daughter didn't like anything cold on her bottom!

Hang in there

Stacey said...

I will pray for a Friday referral. I hope her b-day is on June 23rd because that is our wedding anniversary!
as far as stuff - we don't know what to get for Brenden since he will be 10 months this week and we still don't have him yet. I will be reading what everyone else says!

Ryan and Heather said...

YAYYY!!!! I can't believe it's finally happening! Ahhh! I am so excited for you two!

As for things to buy/not buy.
I used my swing (fisherprice ocean wonders for 3 of my daycare kids until they were almost 18 months!!! They were small for their age and LOVED it.
Play yards are great, gotta get one of those for sure!
I love all of the baby einstein toys because they are educational, and they play nice music instead of loud obnoxious noises constantly-imagine you'll hear it over and over and over and over and over and over!
Get a good stroller that is comfortable for you to push, light, easy to fold up and has lots of storage on it-cup holders are a must!
Get bottles and sippy cups that are easy to wash - some of them have so many darn pieces you need to take out and wash it gets really annoying!
I have a Fisher Price Infant Seat To Toddler Rocker and it's a lifesaver! It can be stationary or rock, and most can vibrate as well. I still use mine every single day I buckle the little ones in while I'm doing something and the seats are bigger than a regular bouncer so my 3 and 4 year olds still fit in it comfortably.
(I do daycare by the way)


Otherwise, don't worry about too much stuff. Buy after you come home, there is a lot of stuff on the market that is totally unneccessary to buy.

Sarah said...

Tuesday...referral
July 30 for B-Day

Yes, all those panicy feelings and weird dreams are completely normal.
I can hardly wait to hear all about Lucy!

Ange said...

I hope your referral comes friday because that would be such a great birthday gift. I also think that the birthday will be July 16th (that's my wedding anniversary)
In any case Good news is coming !YEAH!!!!!