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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Very Little to Report

Sorry I have been so quiet lately, but life around my house has been quite boring actually. The good news is this: Last week Justin said that he really feels confident that we will be back on the list and have our referral before our documents expire!!!! That was the first time that he has said anything like this since the meltdown. I feel really good about that!! We have been doing really well and I am just overall feeling a million times better for the past week or so. Everybody get the positive energy coming our way that we are back on the list VERY soon!

I have been reading a bunch of books lately about parenting techniques. I know that there are probably a bunch of you out there who practice attachment parenting. I am intrigued by it and would like to use some of it for our own children. Can any of you give me any advice on attachment parenting with an adopted child? How did it go? It seems like it would be a great approach for an adopted child - I will not be breastfeeding though, which is such an intregal part. Did your baby have a hard time getting used to the "baby wearing"? I would love feedback from those of you who use attachment parenting and how that has gone.

I can't seem to read enough about different theories and ideas about raising children, the way children learn, and attachment. Sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed by it all. We are first time parents - what is the best?? I know that we will just go with what comes naturally, but there is just so much that we can do that seems to really make a difference in the long run. I guess I just want to be as educated as I possibly can be about the different approaches to child raising. That, however, can be a daunting task. Luckily, I feel confident in my ability to be a mother - I am sure that will rapidly change when that baby is placed in my arms and I can't get her to stop crying, but for now, I am going to let myself feel confident.

For those of you out there travelling, waiting on documents, waiting for your agencies to get you much needed information, waiting for travel approval, and waiting for your referral, I pray for you every night.

7 comments:

mommy magallanes said...

I'm glad that things are looking up for you.

We attachment parent our bio daughter, who is now 2 and 1/2. I think the main thing with attachment parenting is listening to your child and doing what's best for them and you. You don't have to breastfeed to attachment parent. Breastfeeding, co-sleeping and babywearing are means by which to aid in being close to your baby, but are not the only ways.

For example, Chloe didn't like for me to wear her. I'm partially greatful for it because she's heavy! She prefers the stroller and for the most part always has. So that's what we do. You'll find what you need by listening to yourself and listening to your baby. One of the resources that I like is this forum because it has parents that practice varying degrees of attachment parenting: http://www.mothering.com/discussions/index.php

This is going to be really long (sorry!), but I'll tell you this story. My husband was very doubtful about following attachment parenting at first - not one person in our family raises their children this way. When Chloe was 1, he got a new job and met his boss. Wonderful man. His boss practiced attachment parenting and had a little girl who was 3 or 4. Steven got to see how close their relationship was and how much his boss loved his little girl. Also, because my husband was the only other one with a child, his boss would talk to him about kids and about raising kids. It was because of this that one day Steven came home and told me he was grateful that this is the type of relationship that we were building with our daughter. So, we really do think attachment parenting works and glad that this is what we've decided to do.

Waiting For Baby! said...

Maybe one of the new referrals will be your Lucy in the Sky??? :) We are *hopefully* being added tomorrowww!

So happy for you two!

Nicki said...

I love that you are using your waiting time so wisely! Sounds perfect to me! We have always attachment parented. It's funny how unpopular it is until you adopt. Suddenly our parenting techniques are exactly what is recommended! Ha! I am curious to see how things will go. Do you have Dr. Sears' Baby Book? If not, check it out. It has a great section on how to bottlefeed in a very bond-promoting way. You definitely do not have to breastfeed in order to practice attachment-style parenting. :-) By the way, have you read that I may move close to you soon?!?!?

Sarah said...

Kelly,
Thanks for updating. I've been wondering how you've been.
I'm so happy that the both of you are moving in the same direction. I can't wait for the day the two of you get your referral.
Take care and keep reading!

Sarah

Brenda said...

Kelly with all your research on attachment, baby wearing and raising children you are already way ahead of MOST parents! What I found amazing was the instant the child is in your arms all the worries you had before go away. Suddenly you are the only one that knows what's best for your child or baby. It is so cool and a feeling that nobody can explain. My dh had never changed a diaper in his life and instantly took over. So cool!
I'll pray you'll be back on that list soon!
Brenda

jeneflower said...

I am so glad you got some good news from your agency. That is a very good sign!!

As far as attachment I would suggest getting some books that address this topic. There are so many great ones!

Ann said...

It's so good to hear that things are looking up for you guys. You just have to take things at your own pace, a pace that is comfortable for you both. That's always what I had to tell others when trying to explain our decisions. I can't do anything dh isn't comfortable with and vice versa. You're a team and together you will forge towards your dream!!