Ramblings and Lucy-isms

If you haven't been following this discussion already, I suggest you go to Pho for Four and read the talk about gender selection in adoption. This is a hot button in the adoption world for many, largely because the majority of people adopting request a female infant. We are in the majority who requested a healthy female as young as possible. Laurie has a great take on the topic, and so do many of her commenters. I put my opinion in her comments section, so feel free to read it in more detail there. I want to make it perfectly clear that we made our decision based on personal circumstances and reasons, not because we wanted a "China doll", a snuggly little girl, a child who was easier to raise, or any other petty reason such as these. I do not feel comfortable sharing every detail of our lives and why we felt a girl would be best for us at this time because quite frankly, I do not know who all is reading this and the entire world is not open to our personal life. I probably share too much as it is. I will say that we are not a "typical" family in many ways and many factors played into our decision. About the as young as possible part, I will say with confidence that we chose that because this was our first child and we wanted to experience as many firsts as possible. We also wanted to be as careful as you can be with the whole issue of attachment. And about the healthy part, lets face it, in international adoption you have VERY limited information about the health of the child. There is a big possibility that there are health issues that are unknown. We were aware of that and prepared to deal with what was dealt to us. As far as major health concerns, due to things such as health insurance and our ability to handle different situations, we went with what we felt most comfortable with at this time. I do not think it is my place to judge others as to why they chose a boy or a girl if they made the decision to do so. I greatly respect those who go into adoption saying we are open to either gender and special needs. You are wonderful people. I am grateful that there are so many people who do just that. I am no less grateful to someone who requests a boy or a girl, as long as it is for rational reasons and as long as the child's interests are put first. To me, the purpose of adoption is to find a home for a child who needs a loving home, whether the child is a boy or a girl. Every child deserves to be in a home where they will be loved and cherished. Enough on this. I would love to hear from you all if you want to chime in here. I think that a lot of people are hesitant to comment on other blogs because they chose a girl, like us, and feel as though you are being looked down upon for doing so. I value the opinions of others on this topic and thanks to Laurie and Jena for bringing it up again. It really makes you think and that is something we should all enjoy doing.

On a MUCH lighter note, I thought I would share some things that I call Lucy-isms. They are the things that make her our daughter and the things that only the people very closest in her life would know. They are cute and I love every one of them.

1. She loves her blankee like no other. I know I have commented on this before, but she now does this thing when she is almost asleep in my arms where she will move around until both of her hands can find the satin edge of the blankee. She rubs the satin in her sleep. She also likes to rub the satin on her closed eyes. It is really sweet. I have sisters who are still addicted to their blankets and they each do little things like this with them and they do it in their sleep. Lucy is the same way.

2. She is obsessed with books - one plastic book in particular. When given a big basket of toys, she will search out the only book, bring it over to me, and crawl in my lap. We read the same books about 100 times a day. Every time she crawls in my lap my heart melts. She started this a couple of months ago. She absolutely HAS to be in a lap to look at a book.

3. She still thinks that if she is squatting, no one can see her. Probably because when she squats and I can tell she wants to play the where's Lucy game, I won't look at her when she is squatting. I just keep asking Where's Lucy? Has anyone seen Lucy? And look all around the room. All of the sudden she will pop up with the biggest grin and I can just tell that she wants to say HERE I AM!!!!

4. She studies strangers with great intensity. Most of the time to a point that the other person starts to feel a bit uncomfortable. I swear she sizes up every person that she comes in contact with. She is becoming more and more social, but it is still something she struggles with sometimes. While she is warming up to a new situation, she is VERY clingy to me. I just try and stay close to her and make her as comfortable as I can.

5. She has very little time for eating. I have found the trick to getting her to eat though. She does not think she has time for eating, so if I can distract her with something more interesting, she will eat without really realizing she is eating. I always keep a stash of random things close to her high chair to occupy her with. For instance, a necklace with a lot of beads will keep her attention for a while and I can shovel many bites in. Once she is tired of the object she has been looking at, she is done eating again. However, if I have something else that will catch her eye for a while longer, she will continue eating. It works pretty well and I can get some veggies in her tummy!!

6. She likes the same bedtime routine every night. We say a prayer while she drinks her bottle (thanks for that great idea Sherri) and then I sing her the same 9 songs every night. Even though I am the worst singer ever, she seems to like it and it is soothing to her. We do play a CD in the background. Right now she is listening to the most awesome lullaby CD I have found yet. It is Coldplay songs that they made baby friendly. Love it and so does she.

That is it for today. As a side note, for the past 5 nights she has really struggled with going down at night time. Naps are still fine, but bedtime has become a problem. I have no idea why this has started, but it is frustrating to both me and her. It is frustrating to me because I am having a difficult time comforting her. I know she is very tired, but she is fighting sleep with all she has in her. Any ideas why this would be starting all of the sudden and only at night? And finally, here are some really cute pix from this week.