01.17.10

Today I am thankful for Justin and our 6 years of marriage. It is our anniversary. Justin got back home this morning and we had a very low key day, which was fine with me. Thanks for being a wonderful father, my partner, my one true love, our provider. You are an amazing man and I am lucky to call you mine. I love you.

We are sad around here because the Cowboys sucked big time today and got their butts whipped. Such a bummer. I really thought that they were going to win today. But they just couldn't get it together today. Maybe next year.

This is a long post for me, and not the norm, but I feel compelled to share this.

The girls and I went to church this morning before it was time to pick up Justin at the airport. I decided to go to the more contemporary service for the first time ever today. I am not drawn to this type of service, which is why I have never been before. I like the traditional service because I love to hear the choir and the organ. I love the feel of the old, beautiful sanctuary and to sit in the pews. The contemporary service has a band and giant computer screens. It has movie theater type seating. Not my thing for church, but all of my friends keep telling me how amazing the preacher is and how the sermons are worth checking out. Justin really resists the contemporary service, so I thought I would try it today while he was out of town. Of all of the days for me to go, this was the day. The pastor is giving a series of sermons called Frequently Asked Questions and each week he addresses one of the hard questions we have to deal with as christians. Today the questions was: Do my non-christian friends go to heaven?

Before I talk any more about this, I want to explain a few things about myself and my faith. I feel pretty confident in my faith in Jesus Christ, most of the time. I really want to deepen my relationship with Christ this year, as I have already talked about. I know I have LOTS of growth that I need and want to do. I want it to become more natural for me to constantly turn to God for guidance in every aspect of my life. I genuinely want to give Him control and allow Him to guide me. With all of that being said, there are a few aspects of christianity that I struggle with. The first is understanding why really horrible things happen to really good people. I just don't get it. I really don't get it when babies and children are involved. The second thing that I really have had a hard time with is an understanding of where people who don't believe in Jesus Christ go when they die. In particular, people that have never been exposed to the word of God because of geography - what happens to them. They were never given a chance.

The reason that I really have a hard time with this particular issue is because of my girls' birth mothers. Both girls are from a very rural part of Vietnam. I feel confident that their mothers have never heard of Jesus Christ. So, some day as the girls grow older and they start digging deeper into their beliefs and faith in God, I foresee the question of, "Is my birth mother not going to heaven because she probably doesn't know Jesus Christ?" And the bottom line is, I do not believe that that is true. I do NOT believe that someone who has different beliefs than me is excluded from heaven. But I haven't ever been able to express why or how I think that they might be going to heaven. Until this morning, when this exact struggle was addressed in the sermon.

Here is what I got out of the service. There tends to be two extremes on how christians believe people get into heaven. Some people are exclusivists. They believe that the ONLY way into heaven is through Jesus Christ and professing your faith in Him. I have friends and family members that firmly believe this. And to be honest, when someone says this to me, I find myself getting angry with them. And I know that this is backed by passages from the Bible where Jesus Himself says that He is the way and the light to Heaven. And that no one gets to heaven except through me. Jesus says these things before His death as He is trying to convince the disciples and courts that He is in fact the Messiah. But here is the thing that the pastor pointed out with exclusivists that always makes me upset - the gray area that they are often willing to overlook. For instance, an infant who dies way before the child is able to take Jesus Christ as their savior. Or a mentally retarded person who will never be able to fully understand the concept of Jesus and taking Him as their savior. Exclusivists will often make an exception for these examples. So, if they get to be an exception, what about my daughters' first mothers? Are they excluded because they were born in a Buddhist country where they have never heard of Jesus Christ?

The other side of the spectrum is the Universalist who says that everyone gets in. That God made every single person and therefore, everyone is getting in. I don't believe this either, and these believers have their own gray area where they start making exceptions to their rules, too. For instance, Hitler? Do they believe that Hitler gets into heaven? I feel like it is often said, "Well, maybe not Hitler. He probably doesn't get in." And so on and so forth. There are always these gray areas, and that is what I have had a hard time with.

The thing is, I am seeking my God and Savior throughout my life. But a Muslim or a Buddhist or a Jew is doing the exact same thing, just to a different God. They are seeking their God and living their lives for their Lord. And even though their Lord is different than mine, I have never thought that it was my place to judge them for what they have been taught or decided to believe. And under no circumstance do I believe that they are going to hell because their beliefs aren't the same as mine. I just don't believe that.

So, what I learned today was that it is okay to believe that God made every single person on this earth and that when every single person dies, they will get the chance to stand in front of Jesus and God and say, "I didn't know Lord. I didn't know that you were the son of God, but now I do, and yes, I want to come to heaven." Or they can choose not to go to heaven. So now comes the argument that so many christians have: But that isn't fair. I served Jesus Christ my whole life and this person just decided that they want to come to heaven and that is it? They are in just like that? That is not fair.

And I have come to the conclusion that yes, I think that they get in, just like that. Because God is a Lord of grace and love. And that is what I believe and I feel confident in this belief. And I was taught today that there is a Biblical parable that explains just this. If you are interested in reading it, it is Matthew 20:1-16. I am not going to type it all out because it is long, but I will summarize it. It is a story about laborers in a vineyard and the very first sentence says, "For the kingdom of heaven is like a master of a house who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard." So, you can see in the very first sentence that Jesus is clearly relating the story to the kingdom of heaven. The story goes on to talk about the owner of the vineyard going into the market in the early morning and hiring workers. They agree on a fair wage and the workers go off to work. When the owner goes back to the market a few hours later, he sees more men standing idle, and he hires them to work as well. Then a few more hours pass, and he hires more men and then again later in the day sends even more workers into the vineyard. At the end of the day, the owner pays every single man the same pay, even though some of the men worked the entire day and some, hired later in the day, only worked for an hour. And of course the men who worked all day got upset that everyone got paid the same amount even though they did the majority of the work. And as the men grumble about this, the owner says to them, "Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for your wage. Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity? So the last will be first, and the first last."

Who gets into heaven is the choice of God, not us. There is no reason for us to spend time being upset that we lived our whole lives for Jesus and some live just a few hours for Him. Instead, we should celebrate that we got to know Him our entire life and be thankful for that. I feel like a lucky one for getting to know and love Him. And I am going to spread His word so that more people can be filled with His love. As far as I am concerned, the more that get to rejoice in heaven with Jesus the better.

And that my friends, does it for me. I am comfortable with my belief now and I think that Jesus explained it perfectly in this story. I believe that EVERYONE on this earth will have the opportunity to stand before God and Jesus Christ, even in their last hour, and say, "I take you as my Savior. As my Lord." And they get to go to heaven. I like this belief. It makes my heart happy and puts my mind at rest. So, I had to share it.

I am always open to discussion. If you have something you want to contribute to this, please do. But please do so in a respectful manner because it is okay that we don't all believe the same thing. That is what makes the world interesting.