Thinking about Things

Laurie at Pho for Four, who always has awesome posts, recently got me really thinking about how things really are in our household as Justin and I adapt to being first time parents and doing that for an adopted child. She was commenting on how many adoptive parents (APs) only write about the happy times and we often don't write about the hard times, which makes our lives appear "perfect", which is most certainly not the case. I admit, I rarely write about the hard times, but we have been so fortunate and have a child who has adjusted so well and I often don't have issues to write about. Lucy is a very easy baby. She sleeps well, she eats well, she interacts well, she is attached to us (which I know is still very much a work in progress), and she is just a happy little pumpkin. We are lucky. She came from a tiny little orphanage with only a few babies and she was SO well cared for and loved. The only hard times we have had with her were in Vietnam while she was mourning the loss of everything and everyone that she had ever known in her short little life of 5 months. And even then, the only hard time was going to bed. But once we got home, it was like a switch flipped and night time was no longer a battle. As I said before, we are very fortunate. Every child is so different. As far as feeling attached to her immediately, I can honestly say that I did. I do remember feeling a little weird that she was finally with us for the first few days, but I really did always feel as though she was our child. Everyone processes this so differently and I certainly don't think it is weird for someone to not feel attached to a picture or to a child that they barely know. I am probably the weird one here for feeling so attached to a picture of a child I had never met. My feelings for her grow stronger and stronger everyday still.

So, for the time being, I don't have any major adjustment issues to write about regarding Lucy - she is doing great. That does not mean that I don't find myself having a hard time. What I find myself constantly struggling with is the age old question - Are we raising her "correctly"? Because she is adopted, I feel as though I question myself and how we do things with her all of the time. I am not sure that I would do this with a bio child. Even though she is doing so well, I am always worried that I am going to do something that makes her go backwards in her progress. Other APs out there, do you do this? Is this normal? Will this feeling eventually go away? Am I always going to be worried that I am screwing up or that I could screw up? I am sure that every parent goes through this in one way or another. I know it is normal to worry about raising your children. I just worry sometimes that I over analyze everything because she is adopted. I find myself questioning silly little things and wondering if it is related to the fact that she is adopted. And then I find myself concerned that I am going to make her feel different by worrying too much. I don't want to make her feel any more different than she already is going to feel. Again, do others feel this same way? The bottom line is, Justin and I love Lucy so very much. She is hands down the greatest thing that could have ever happened to either of us. We want to do the very best for her that we can, and that can be a big load on one's shoulders. Will I ever just feel that we are doing our best and that our best is good enough for our children?

Now that I have gotten that off of my chest, on to some lighter reading. I have a confession, I have turned into a huge game nerd. I am addicted to both Nintendo Wii (bowling being my biggest addiction and I did bowl a 246 today) and jigsaw puzzles. Random, I know, but it is true. My little sister and I have been doing puzzles pretty much nonstop for the past couple of weeks. We just finished a 2000 piece puzzle in no time at all. What a bunch of dorks we are!! It is so fun though.

Lucy's favorite tricks lately are clapping at everything, shaking her head NO to any question you ask her, and waving like a queen. She has done a funny wave for a while now, but all of the sudden, she waves like the queen. I have it on video and will upload it soon. Of course, for your viewing pleasure, here is my little pumpkin. We took her to the big pool and she was not really too sure about it. The water was cold and there were a million wild kids there, but she had a good time. She kept wanting to put her head in the water but then she would get a mouth full of water and snort some up her nose. This is all happening while I am fighting her to keep her head out of the water since she obviously did not get the whole not breathing under water thing.
Ready to swim.


In the baby pool - it was 2 feet deep and she needed her float to stay above water. Also, the whole pool has a huge shade over it which is why the water was so cold. She never touched her sunglasses one time. She apparently loves them.



Could someone get me a cold drink?

Check out those cheeks!!