Help, Lucyfer Has Moved In!

You know this really, really cute little girl that I am constantly photographing and rambling mindlessly on and on about?


I am sure you are thinking that there is no way that a little pumpkin that cute could ever be EXTREMELY difficult to live with. Who, sweet little ol' me?


I am sure you think she must be an angel all of the time. She puts on a great "I am so innocent" little act. She most certainly knows how to put on the charm. No doubt about that.


She knows how to work it. She is so smart and knows exactly what needs to be done in order to get what she wants.


People are naturally drawn to her, even though she is not always naturally drawn to them.


And she is in fact, quite an amazing child - full of life and wonder and spice. Lots and lots of spice.


And a joy to be around. Well, sometimes. And lately that joyful part has been alluding us. But again, how could this sweet child be a terror? Certainly her mother must be insane.


I get this look A LOT. Trust me, she means business. Within the past few weeks, when you see this look, it is quite possible, in fact highly likely, that all hell is about to break loose. So get ready. I have actually never taken a picture of her having a full blown fit. It just seems a little mean.


But if you can somehow distract that little mind for just a minute or so, you will MAYBE get this sweet look back.


But whatever you do, don't push your limits. It is not wise. She has stamina. She can and will put up a harder fight than you. But the good news is, once she is done with her meltdown, she will be ready for some fun again.


I know that I mentioned recently that Lucy has been going through some terrible two like behavior stuff lately. Well, lets just say that the last week or so have been really interesting. That is one way of describing it. Mind boggling might be a better term. Or rip the hair from my head maddening might be even better. The girl is losing it.

I find myself going over our days each night while I am laying in bed. I think about the things I could have done differently or how I could have reacted in a more calm way that might have eased the day a bit. We start over the next morning and often times, the crappy day starts instantly when she wakes up. It is like she is in a permanent funk. She is grumpy. Really grumpy. When I say the smallest of things will set her off, I mean the smallest of things. A couple of recent examples that come to mind are when she lost it because she couldn't get the exact right sized bite of potatoes on her fork or when she could not get the box of raisins opened. It was dinner the other night and she started yelling at her fork about a bigger bite. I asked if she wanted me to help her get a bigger bite on the fork and that just pissed her off even more. She ended up full blown crying and screaming about the bite being not right. She ALWAYS gets mad at the box of raisins. She has a hard time getting it opened herself, but refuses help. And it pisses her off. Badly.

I think what is going on is that she is in that in between stage of wanting to be a big girl/wanting to do absolutely everything on her own and just not being quite able to do everything without a little assistance. It is devastating in her little world. Justin and I absolutely always let her do whatever it is that she says "I DO IT!" The problem is, if she is not 100% successful on her first attempt, she is done. Meltdown begins. She has zero patience. If she is pushing her shopping cart and it hits a snag on a rug, she is mad. She will just start jerking it around and yelling. If she is this sensitive about a box or raisins or bite of potatoes, just imagine what our days have been like.

I have had to really have a pep talk with myself and with Justin about how we are handling all of this. It is SO easy to become so overwhelmed and frustrated and just lose it. There have been days when I have wanted to move her permanently into time out. But lets face it, that is not realistic and neither are a lot of the expectations we have put on her. I am not saying that she doesn't need to face consequences for acting out, but I am also saying that she is TWO. I can't expect her to react the way I would or Justin would to a situation because her little brain just isn't there yet. It is not fair to expect her to act like a much older child, but I find myself doing it over and over. I am trying to be more aware of how she must be feeling. How to her these little things are a big deal. They seem completely ridiculous to me and Justin, but she is really having a hard time figuring out how to deal with these issues.

We are getting there. In fact, today was a really enjoyable day. Such a nice break. She was laughing, playing peacefully, dancing around, and in a great mood. I was reminded by a friend that these unpleasant stages usually last about 2 weeks - which has absolutely proven true in the past - and that once the stage passes, she will come out of it just as quickly as she started it and she will probably have made a huge learning leap while her brain got "rewired" for a bit. Thanks Liz! Hopefully we are through the worst of it for now. I know a lot more rough patches will come up, I just hope this one is almost over. It has not been easy. We like to say that our precious Lucy has moved out and her evil twin Lucyfer has moved in for a while. Well guess what, I packed Lucyfer's bags and kicked his butt to the curb!

We make sure to go in and kiss her head when she is sleeping every night because we can always see the sweet girl that she is, and always will be, when she is sleeping. It is impossible to be frustrated or upset with her when I see her so peaceful. It gets me ready for the next day and all of the challenges that we will face.

As always, advice is welcome.